The halls of our past

What if your ghost never leaves me?

What if I haunt the halls of our past forever?

Sifting through the dust that still clings to the parts of you that I’d come to love

Trailing my fingers over the piano, the fireplace, the mantelpiece

Kissing the decaying flowers

Throwing the covers back to reveal the imprints of our shapes on the sheets

*

Your absence stole the best parts of me,

As you left with your suitcase full of your wishes and my future

I wake the dead for company as I wait for you

*

Whisper “stay stay stay”

As the night approaches

Cast my old shadow away

And banish the cockroaches

That have made a home of my heart

*

I wander the silent halls

and rooms where we’d lived

Open one door to reveal a college hallway

Another and I’m on a rooftop on a warm October evening

No longer counting, I kick them open

Messy, home-like living rooms

Where I watch our ghosts hug and kiss on the couch

Expanses of grass underneath the stars

Others covered in leaves, as we stare at the afternoon sky

Planetariums full of students

Others empty, lit by the dim light of a movie

*

I watch our former selves live their lives

As I fight to live mine

Watch myself walk throughout campus as the air chills,

the leaves fall

and my cigarettes increase in regularity

Wondering how I lived, knowing this was coming

Wondering how I will live

Not knowing what comes next

*

You took the best of me

And unfortunately, she was the psychic

*

written Januray 5th

(14:01)

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. a mystery says:

    I know I always gush about your writing so perhaps it sounds old or common to say it but I’m just going to say it anyways. I really love the flow of this. You have this gift of really taking the reader through moments through your eyes and making them feel those bursts of longing and love. This may be one of my favorites of yours, not going to lie. Ahh. Just lovely. Too much beauty in your words to explain. I love those little snapshots of life.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so so so so so (so so so so) so so so much! Of course it never gets old for me either to see people appreciate and understand my writing!

    Really?! THANK YOU! I never really know how people will react to my poems, which ones they’ll like and which ones they won’t, so thank you!
    My poems are also there for me to read again, in 2, 5 or 10 years, perhaps that’s why I make them as precise as I can, so I’ll remember moments as clearly as I can several years down the road. It’s great to hear that people can feel what I feel when they read my poetry! It’s the best way to really connect with people, when they can truly understand where you’ve been and how that affects who you are now, because they’ve lived it in one of the only ways humans have of showing people what being them feels like: writing.

    Again, thank you SO MUCH! (I know I went on a weird tangent there, but I had a quite a bit to say) ❤ Hoping to read more of your Lunan writing soon! ❤

    Like

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