Oxygen

It’s night again

And I’m thinking things through

Sorting my mind

My mind which is full of you

*

I put things quite simply

I use over-used words

But you drift like the air

Light and mesmerising

Simply

*

And maybe I’m reaching for

Something impossible

Impossible only because I always pull away

I’m stretching and straining

To feel your free, pure air

Like oxygen

When I’m deep in the abyss

*

Candles can only burn for so long

You are the floating bubble of oxygen

I strain and hope to reach

But you’ll always evade me

You’ll never stay

Because either the person escapes

Or I’m the one who pushes away

Reassured by my familiar darkness

And that often-felt pain

That has become my home

*

I’ll turn away

And deprive myself of what I need to survive

In order to make myself suffer

If only a little longer

*

I’ll destroy myself

To achieve the pain

That now seems inherent to my survival

(22:38)

November 2nd

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