How she went to the dogs

I remember

Watching my parents burning

travelling from kitchen

to living room

to hallway

to garden

throwing ashes at each other

I remember

Being 10 years old

Acting 30

Looking at my brother and him

Looking back at me

With that same look

The “oh, they’re at it again”

Mentally rolling our eyes

at the ridiculousness of adults

Kieran was 7

That was then

This is now

And most all is forgotten

Now they implode

on another continent

I remember

Mom trying to convince me

that they loved me

Me, snorting at the ridiculousness

of her own gullibility

She was more naive and

emotional

than I was

She was (still is) 30 years older

than me

I was 13

This is now and both

ignore the presence of the other

As if they live in their own

separate universe

where the other doesn’t exist

and i’m the rusted chain

linking both worlds together

I remember

Mom’s peanut and whiskey breath

her awkward steps

as she staggered and stumbled

into my room

at night

to throw her ashes over me

then fall asleep on a wet towel in the hallway

like I was the dustbin

and naturally I was

expected to solve her problems

with magic

Like it was my duty

I was 17

I remember

the b-word

shouted

whispered

fired

shot

at me

through it all

8

10

12

14

16

18

years old

But what I still cannot

understand

is what a female dog had to do with

any of it

(August 20th 2015)

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. elainajhunt says:

    Poignant and beautiful and brilliant. Simply amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for your kind comments, Elaina 🙂

    Like

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