Racing time

How long do I have left to wait?

Where does the road end and meet mine?

Forever embracing the present,

How come my future always

Fades with the snap of fingers?

*

Click

Button pushed, Light switched

*

All vanishing with the tide

I can now count my memories,

Like dominoes waiting to tumble,

They stick to my fingers like wet sand

*

I’m forever incapable of convincing them to stay for good

Forever running towards the cliff on the horizon

Blindfold sowed to my eyes

I discover the steps as I go along,

Unable to determine what lies ahead

The fog recedes only half a step ahead

*

Where do I go from here?

My heart hammers with the unknown

Pulsating, beeping lights

Left to switch off

3

2

1

Blank

*

What remains withdraws with the whirlpool

No amount of screaming metal,

Writhing electric guitar,

Can help my memories remain

All I’m left with is shrieking to the music,

Cursing to the beat of the drum

Running with the tide of the chorus

And all I can say to express all this is

“F*ck”

Cliff ends here

Cliff-hanger

*

But not quite yet

There is still sand in the hourglass

The clock trickles down the time to a cinder

But the ember will only vanish with my body

A fight I cannot win

*

I write to pass whatever time remains

Incapable of staring reality in the face

Feeling the ashes fill my chest

And burst

*

But not quite yet

That would be too merciful an end

I can only hope for numbness

I suppose too much ill has been committed by now to ever deserve it

My heart will splinter, like fragile china

Before I ever take a step in the right direction

*

The signs have been switched

Now down is up

And I swim frantically further, lower through the ocean water

In a quest to reach the surface

*

The weight crushes me

Hitting me with the strength of a thousand watts

I throw up with the sickness of it all

Wretch until the demon escapes

Ignore the way my body fights against the torture

*

It’s always betraying me

This feeble, thin, useless thing

Good only at attracting the attention of males

And the jealousy of women

*

Screw it, get me out

Smash that mirror

That face will never be me

Hand me whatever bad luck you will

7 years will be a distraction from this mess

*

What am I even saying?

Do you truly believe the words I speak?

Would you ever have guessed this is what runs through my mind

When you admire my curves through my clothes

Imagine what my skin must look like devoid of their protection?

*

Please, I do not need your pitiful words of reassurance

I’m sick of pretending to be ok

No, no one will save me

It is always up to me to save myself

Once again, I will rise out of the ashes

Now this is the adequate time for the

Cliff-hanger

20/04/2015

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Noora says:

    Great piece!

    I especially enjoyed these lines:

    “All vanishing with the tide
    I can now count my memories,
    Like dominoes waiting to tumble,
    They stick to my fingers like wet sand”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you very much! That means a lot to me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. elainajhunt says:

    I cannot even explain how much I relate to this. Thank you for sharing your writing for it is truly amazing to read!

    Like

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